Skip to content Skip to sidebar Skip to footer

Love It or List It?

For the past seven years in BHH, I have viewed our house through the eyes of a seller. I’ve thought about it from a seller’s perspective because I have moved so much and lived in so many houses over the years that the concept of a forever house doesn’t even exist in my brain. We bought BHH for a very low price, and my secondary goal has always been to make sure it stacks up to the same sized comparables in our neighborhood. My primary goal has been to do right by the house, of course.

Over the past three years, Andy and I circled around the conversation of selling BHH. To be brutally honest, Andy and I have rarely been on the same page about BHH. First, Andy wanted the house, and I didn’t. However, it did not take long for me to fall in love with BHH and starting in 2014, working on the house, this blog, and True Tales From Old Houses became my primary jobs.

tools for window restoration

Since Andy and I couldn’t afford to hire out a lot of work, I embraced the DIY life. Andy, not so much. A few years in, he was completely over it, and I was starting to understand the gravity of our situation. BHH is a big freaking house, and the ability to make the house our own while addressing deferred maintenance and battling mother nature was proving to be a lot. As an enthusiastic party of one, it was becoming even more overwhelming. Andy wanted quick, inexpensive fixes, but I wasn’t willing to kick our problems down the road by sacrificing quality.

BHH Before Painting and Tree Work

Love it or List it?

If you’re not familiar with the show Love it or List it on HGTV, it centers around a realtor (David) vs. a designer + contractor (Hilary) trying to convince a family to fix their home and love it or find a new one and list it for sale. The couple on the show is at odds. Host Hilary Farr’s constant eye rolls + the contrived drama make perfect trash TV. At the end of each episode, there is a very theatrical moment where the couple has a “private” on-camera conversation to discuss their plans. Then, Hilary asks, “Are you going to love it….” and the other host, David, says, “…or list it?” #drama

Though I rarely watch the show, the concept fits Andy and me perfectly. All along, I’ve wanted to keep pouring money into BHH to bring it back, and Andy has felt like we’ve done enough, and maybe it’s time to get out.

In today’s special blog episode of Love it or List it, let’s pretend that we’re in the final moments of the show. Here is what our thought process has been over the past few years.

List it

Andy’s thoughts (written by Stacy): The housing market is hot hot hot. Let’s take the money and run. With most of our kids grown, we have some flexibility that we’ve never had before, and we should take advantage of that now.

Stacy: All I can see is the torn-up staircase, all of the partially-restored windows on my work table, and the mountain of highly specialized work I have to do before we can call a realtor. Also, my entire livelihood is wrapped up in the blog and the podcast. Even if we sold BHH, where would we go? Like many towns, houses here are snapped up within days for well over the asking price. We also still have our daughter at home for the next four years or so. I won’t uproot her entire life.

Andy: I don’t really enjoy DIY. I’d rather spend time on my hobbies.

Stacy: This past winter was a real low point for me regarding BHH. I realized that I was at a tipping point with my quality of life. Spending every waking hour of each day keeping this house afloat was starting to make me feel resentful. Living in a long-term construction zone triggered my anxiety in unhealthy ways, and the old d-word (depression) was starting to show up again too.

So, there are definitely plenty of reasons to sell BHH.

Love It

Stacy: For once, it would feel nice to fix up a house to live in it instead of selling it. Although that hasn’t been our intention, it has happened every time. We work like dogs, and someone else enjoys our work.

Andy: This house would be great if we could fix up the bathrooms and some of these other projects were finished.

Stacy: If I had some help, we could knock out a lot of the backlog and move forward with projects that we could both enjoy.

Andy & Stacy: It would be stressful, expensive, and so much work to move again, especially in this crazy housing market. There is no such thing as a contingency sale right now. We’d almost need to be in a position to buy a second house and then sell BHH.

Stacy: BHH is one-of-a-kind, a real treasure. We will never have this type of opportunity again. (This is not hyperbole. It’s the truth.)

See? There are plenty of reasons to love BHH too.

Cameras Off

At this point in the show, the cameras are off. Andy and I have had some crucial conversations over the past couple of months that have led us to a resolution. Among other things, we have discussed that:

  • My mental health is important. (Also, I am fine; My mental health always comes first, and I’m on it.)
  • Andy’s desire to not spend his free time consumed by DIY projects is important.
  • I enjoy my work as a window restoration educator, blogger/writer, and podcast host.
  • He and I both want a home that feels like a home and not a construction zone.
  • We want to live somewhere that our kids want to visit and bring their friends and family to.
  • Since we enjoy vacations and some splurges now and then, being house-poor isn’t appealing.
  • Our method of caring for BHH is not sustainable.

So, what did we decide? Are we going to love it or list it?

We are…

going to…

love it!

We are staying put in BHH, and changes are afoot. We’re in the early stages of some big house plans. I’m talking butterflies in the stomach plans, and Andy and I are both very excited. He and I are on the same page, and we have come up with some solutions that will benefit both of us, and of course, BHH.

I look forward to telling you more soon. In the meantime, feel free to make some guesses in the comments. I always enjoy hearing your ideas. Also, what did you think we would decide?

51 Comments

  • Sally Timmer
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 2:08 pm

    OH MY GOODNESS YOU HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT! I am so glad you are staying, but now I’m on the edge of my seat to hear what the big house plans are! I’m going to guess that you will be hiring out to get some of the bathrooms done and maybe doing some AirBnB rentals to help finance that?

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 3:36 pm

      Sorrynotsorry? 😀 It feels good to reach a decision.

  • Miranda
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 2:51 pm

    I’m so glad you are making the right choice for you and your family! (The right choice is whatever you choose <3)

    I completely empathize with the degrading mental health feelings and the rate of work on the house. Honestly, it's what drove me out of our last house and into an apartment. That space (away from the house, from the problems, from the unfinished projects—my unfinished projects—, from the deferred maintenance and the very poor quality work from the previous homeowners) is exactly what I needed to bring clarity to what was important and face myself in the mirror. I haven't come right out and said it, and have severely limited my sharing of it (because that was a major factor too) but we did end up purchasing a house in this ridiculous market, and it's not near as old as any of our other homes, but I suppose could still qualify as a young? old? I don't know. But I'm in a much better space to deal with it now after the last year. Everything happened for a reason.

    Thank you for showing a peek into that onto the blog, I think mental health and old houses kinda go hand-in-hand if you look at the insta community. I see you, Daniel Kanter, Lacy Place and myself in that bucket (just those who are first top of mind).

    I can't wait to see what you do next.
    xo
    Miranda

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 3:54 pm

      I truly am so proud of you, Miranda. I hope that doesn’t sound patronizing because I certainly don’t intend for it to be. You are creating some wonderful boundaries. I found the hardest time to make huge decisions was when I was a new mother. Sometimes, we are so hard on ourselves, and I had trouble drawing conclusions while also focusing on raising healthy and well-adjusted kids.

      Congratulations on your new house, and I hope you make many happy memories there.

  • Nicole Q-Schmitz
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 2:51 pm

    I agree with Sally, such a “page-turner”, or maybe blog-scroller would be more appropriate? Airbnb rentals would be fun, or a proper BnB where you serve breakfast. (Maybe that’s one of the hobbies Andy can do haha). You could offer window restoration classes they can sign up for? Like those fancy weekend/week courses people go to where they stay and learn all in one place.

    Besides, if you sold, what would your blog name be? Surely you couldn’t retire! (Oh and also, people also like to say that selling in a hot market is great, but often forget that you need to buy in a hot market too).

    Good luck!

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 3:57 pm

      I’m going to have to talk to Andy about using BHH as a B&B. I can’t wait to hear his response. LOL However, I think your idea sounds great! It will be like a working dude ranch except for windows. 😀

  • Southern Gal
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 2:52 pm

    OMG you are so funny and dramatic… i was PRAYING you would LOVE it. you have come so far in fixing it up and the love you both have is so obvious. So glad you decided to get a master plan and not let the restoration/renovation control your lives.

    looking forward to your next steps – and thrilled you are staying (for awhile at least).

    As I am almost thru the list of projects i needed help with (electrical, fence and gate building and a few other things ) i am starting to do the DIY things i can do and learn to do without fear of burning down the house or starting a flood ;o The windows is one that i would not have dreamed of taking on in the past if i had not stumbled on your blog (maybe from Devyn?)

    Yay for you and Andy – new chapter in your book of houses!

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:00 pm

      *takes a bow* #moredrama 😀

      Andy and I are always at our very best when we are on the same page.

      I love how you are embracing old house life. You can totally do those windows, and I’m glad you know it now too.

  • Brenda
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 2:52 pm

    I really didn’t know what you would decide!!! Glad you are staying, but more importantly, I’m glad you are staying with a plan moving forward. Looking forward to seeing that plan!!!

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:00 pm

      Thank you, Brenda. We are excited.

  • Barbara H.
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 2:53 pm

    Yikes! That was suspenseful! Glad you are staying, anxious to know what’s up and hurray for mental health being job ONE.

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:03 pm

      Thank you, Barbara. <3

  • Ame Jo
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 2:56 pm

    Gotta tell ya, I teared up a little at the reveal! I figured you’d list it, just because of your moving history and the hot market (who HASN’T considered selling right now). I’m glad to hear that you’re staying. You’ve been such a good steward for that house.

    I think the big plans are hiring a housekeeper and a driver. And a chef. (Maybe those are my dreams. ?) OR, turning the basement into an Air BnB?

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:03 pm

      All of your dreams are my dreams too. Ha!

  • Shelley Ross
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 3:07 pm

    I was also on the edge of my seat. We raised our kids in a house that was built in 1888 . My husband can barely change a light bulb, and even then he wouldn’t be motivated to do it. So I feel you pain, but I’m glad you decided to LOVE IT! Down the road you’ll be happy that you did (I think).

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:04 pm

      Thank you, Shelley. I think we will be happy we did too.

  • Marie
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 3:13 pm

    Wow, I totally agree with everyone : I was reading and saying to myself “noooo, noooo this can’t be” :-), also I didn’t comment on your bedroom reveal but I really enjoyed it : it looks calm, serene and joyous !

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:05 pm

      As I was writing, I thought, are all of these people going to hate me for this drama? LOL

      Thank you for the compliment on the bedroom makeover! 🙂

  • Jeremy Jordan
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:20 pm

    I am relieved that you have decided to “love it.” In my own mind the decision not to sell relies heavily on other people also sticking it out! BHH is a beautiful home and I’m glad you all have decided to stay there and enjoy it.

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:50 pm

      Thank you, Jeremy. It sounds like we are in this together. 🙂

  • Maureen
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:26 pm

    Thank you for sharing this journey with us, Stacy. Honest conversation in HGTV format is an unexpected pairing ;). There’s so much DIY/reno/decorating content out there that is missing these true-to-life, big-deal family discussions. I appreciate your window in and your slow and thoughtful approach. I hope the big plans involve help from extra hands! Looking forward to following along.

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:50 pm

      Thank you, Maureen. I do so love to hate HGTV. 🙂 (I actually quite enjoy it since I fully understand that it is entertainment vs. reality.)

      I always want to encourage people to believe in themselves, but transparency is also important. Therefore, I never want to remove the human component from my content.

  • Kristina
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 4:59 pm

    I’m guessing you are going to take a loan and outsource finishing the stairs, remodeling the bathrooms, and other large projects. This would let you enjoy the living in the house now and for as long as possible, versus saving for years just to endure and not love it.

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:45 pm

      You’re on the right track!

  • Marta
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:09 pm

    I just put my “tools down!” on DIY house projects (with the possible exception of some sewing/upholstery) for several months *at least* because I’ve been mired in projects for most of 2021–all of which inevitably have taken way longer than I thought—and I’m so ready not to be living in a construction zone! I’m trying to remember that it’s possible to just *live* in your house and have *other* projects and hobbies, lol. Which is all to say that I completely empathize and have often thought about the fact that your livelihood is all tied up with renovation of your own home. That has to be tough. Still, I’m thrilled you and Andy are finding a way to make this work at BHH, I really love your home and have been so inspired by your work and business, and am thrilled that you will get to enjoy the fruits of your labors! I have no guesses about what’s coming, but I can’t wait to hear!! xo m

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:44 pm

      Thank you, Marta. I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, and I wondered how you are. I should have sent you a message instead of simply wondering! You’re smart to put it all down before you reach that breaking point. <3

  • Susan
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:27 pm

    Ha I went straight to the end! I love your house! So glad you are staying! With these winters I am guessing a garage…

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:43 pm

      Haha! I love that you went right to the end.

  • Crystal
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:34 pm

    Yes!! The suspense was killing me! I’m so glad you’re staying. 🙂

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 5:42 pm

      🙂 Thank you, Crystal! We should get together again sometime this summer.

  • SH
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 7:58 pm

    Since you said you’ve been discussing Love It/List It, and now you are posting about it, I leaned towards the List it. Shows what I know, ha! But how cool a Windows Summer Camp would be 😉 And the advanced students could work on your windows = free labor!

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 28, 2021 at 8:29 pm

      I’m surprised that you thought I would list it. I mean it absolutely could have gone either way, but for some reason, I’m surprised. 😀

  • Sarah
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 8:26 pm

    Glad you made the best decision for your family! I think it sounds like you are ready to hire some things out which sounds like a great idea!

  • SH
    Posted June 28, 2021 at 8:58 pm

    Hey, you’re the one who brought it up (insert ROFL emoji here)

  • Alison Hardy
    Posted June 29, 2021 at 11:54 am

    Thank you for sharing this. It makes me realize that I need to figure out how to get on the same page with my spouse. Unfortunately I think he is a bit too far down the spiral of depression and we can’t have a real conversation about this. I am still Go! Go! Go and he is hiding out somewhere with a phone glued to the front of his face. Thankfully we don’t have to live in our project house. Carry on, it’s a beautiful house.

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 29, 2021 at 5:20 pm

      I’m so sorry, Alison. Depression is no joke, and it’s so difficult to love someone and watch them go through it.

  • Leela Ruiz
    Posted June 29, 2021 at 1:48 pm

    Wow!!!!! I was so nervous lol, and so glad ya’ll have found a solution to stay that makes you happy and your quality of life 🙂

    Can’t wait to hear more and maybe even see you sometime in late summer/fall.

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted June 29, 2021 at 5:19 pm

      Thank you! It would be fun to get together. 🙂

  • Chris
    Posted June 29, 2021 at 6:20 pm

    I feel ALL these things and my house is considerably younger and smaller than BHH… but I’m so so happy you are staying. you’ve put so much into BHH and it just wouldn’t feel right to see it not be Stacy’s big blue house.

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted July 2, 2021 at 9:42 am

      Thank you, Chris! I love your comment about “Stacy’s big blue house.” Until recently, it was always “Dorothy’s big green house.” 🙂

  • Maddy
    Posted June 29, 2021 at 9:25 pm

    So glad to hear you are staying! I just discovered your podcast (and now the blog too!) and look forward to hearing more about the projects and watching it all to life. The aesthetic you create is beautiful and Blake Hill House is lucky to have you looking after it.

    My guesses are hiring out some help with some of the major projects- possibly some bathroom restoration?

    Whatever it is, I’m so excited to hear more! Keep up the great work!

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted July 2, 2021 at 9:44 am

      Hi Maddy, Thank you for your comment and for listening to the podcast too! I’m so glad you are enjoying it. You have made some very good guesses. 🙂

  • Cristy F.
    Posted June 30, 2021 at 1:19 pm

    As I started reading this post I had a lump in my throat and was starting to tear up. I’m so glad you both decided to LOVE IT!. Your home is so unique and through the work you’ve done so far, it is beautiful. I don’t know if in this current market you could find a home that compares to BHH.
    I am new to the True Tales podcast and BHH. I stumbled onto both as I was looking for a way to restore painted over door hardware in our home built in 1836.
    Stacy, thank you for sharing your BHH journey and creating the True Tales podcast. You have inspired more of us than you are aware of.
    Good luck with the future plans. Can’t wait to see what’s in store!

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted July 2, 2021 at 9:47 am

      Hi Cristy, Welcome! Your kind comments mean so much to me. Sometimes podcasting and blogging feel like throwing information into a volcano. Ha! It’s nice to know that both are useful and entertaining.

      Oh boy! Painted over hardware. We’ve still got plenty here too. 🙂

  • Mallory
    Posted July 1, 2021 at 3:29 pm

    Aw, yay! I’m glad you are staying, as I’ve loved seeing you restore this house. We just bought our second old house after selling our first one last year and it is quite the project so far. We just keep telling ourselves that she’ll be great once we’re finished (and once our contractors have added that second bathroom). Hopefully that happens sooner than later!

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted July 2, 2021 at 9:48 am

      Thank you, Mallory. Congrats on your 2nd new old house! 🙂 I hope it’s smooth sailing with all of your projects and that you get that second bathroom soon.

  • Becky Caudill
    Posted July 6, 2021 at 9:53 am

    So much of what you wrote resonated with me. We went into the Josiah Thing House with stars in our eyes but it’s been nothing but one project after another (and a major “five month” renovation that was done poorly and took 20 months instead), and we’ve still got a mountain of projects ahead of us. Some days I’m definitely on the “list it” train. But like where you are, there are no houses to be had, and we’d only find ourselves paying at the top of the market. My husband wants to be here for 10 more years (at least), so we’re going to focus on “loving it” until then.

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted July 6, 2021 at 11:06 am

      Cheers to loving our houses! 🙂

  • Vanessa
    Posted July 31, 2021 at 5:58 pm

    Yay Stacy!

    • Post Author
      Stacy
      Posted August 1, 2021 at 3:33 pm

      Thank you, Vanessa!

Leave a comment

0.0/5